ROLE OF SELF-ESTEEM IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT - PART 3

ROLE OF SELF-ESTEEM IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT - PART 3

Did you know that High Self-esteem is a frame of mind that lets you celebrate your strength, challenge your weakness and feel good about yourself and your life?.....

"Persons of High Self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else". 

High self-esteem

^High Self-esteem is a positive and healthy self-esteem. People with this type of Self-esteem accept and value themselves. It is known to be positive as it manages to make the person satisfied with their lives. Does this imply that there will be no barrier or wall to be sealed? Absolutely not, but the confidence in oneself and the courage to face any problem that may arise makes everything more easier.

^Believing in yourself and trusting in who you are is what characterizes people who possess High self-esteem. However, this doesn't make them arrogant nor do they feel better than anyone else. They just have the security necessary to avoid letting negative circumstances and events throw them off balance

^But even among those with high self-esteem, there are people who can indeed be thrown off-balance, i.e. they are not able to constantly maintain this High self-esteem.

Here are some other Characteristics of High Self-esteem:

♦️High amount of self respect, 

♦️Acknowledging compliments, 

♦️Self-love,

♦️Focusing on your strength,

♦️Never comparing yourself to anyone.

Ways of building Healthy (High) Self-esteem?

Self-Esteem is strongly related to how you view and react to the things that happen in your life. Suggestions for building Self-esteem include:

♦️Talk to yourself "positively" – treat yourself as you would your best friend. Be supportive, kind and understanding to yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself when you make a mistake, simply make corrections.

♦️Challenge "Negative self-talk" – Everytime you criticise yourself, stop and look for objective evidence that the criticism is true. (If you feel you can’t be objective, then ask a trusted friend for their opinion.) You’ll realise that most of your negative self-talk is unfounded.

♦️Don’t compare yourself to others – Recognise that everyone is different and that every human life has value in its own right. Make an effort to accept yourself, wants and all.

♦️Acknowledge the positive – for example, don’t brush off compliments, dismiss your achievements as ‘dumb luck’ or ignore your positive traits.

♦️Appreciate your special qualities – Remind yourself of your good points every day. Write a list and refer to it often. (If you feel you can’t think of anything good about yourself, ask a trusted friend to help you write the list.)

♦️Forget the past – Concentrate on living in the here-and-now rather than reliving old hurts and disappointments. Do not lean unto them.

♦️Tell yourself a positive message everyday – Buy yourself a set of ‘inspirational cards’ and start each day reading out a new card and carrying the card’s message with you all day.

♦️Stop worrying – ‘Worrying’ is simply fretting about the future. Accept that certain things you cannot always see or change, and try to keep your thoughts in the here-and-now. Instead of worrying, think positively a solution.

♦️Have fun – Schedule enjoyable events and activities into every week.

♦️Exercise your body – It is such a good boost to the brain for all kinds of things but especially in combatting depression and helping you to feel good. Your targets need to be step-by-step, such as "starting with a walk round the block once a day", "enrolling at a local gym class" or "going for a swim".

♦️Be assertive – Communicate your needs, wants, feelings, beliefs and opinions to others in a direct and honest manner.

Practice the above suggestions every day. It takes effort and vigilance to replace unhelpful thoughts and behaviours with healthier versions. 

Give yourself time to establish the new habits. Keep a diary or journal to chart your progress.

Things to remember

•Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself.

•Everyone lacks confidence occasionally but people with low self-esteem are unhappy or unsatisfied with themselves most of the time.

•It takes attention and daily practice to boost a low self-esteem.

Keep it in mind, that it is difficult to escape from Inflated and Low self-esteem. If you are among the people who have High Self-esteem, even if you occasionally give in to instability in certain situations, Congratulations! You are so much closer to achieving the happiness and satisfaction in life that will make you feel blessed.

THE END

THANK YOU

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ROLE OF SELF-ESTEEM IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT - PART 2

ROLE OF SELF-ESTEEM IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT - PART 2

"Needing to talk badly about others indicate low self-esteem. That means, "l feel so low that instead of picking myself up, I have to cut others down"

Did you know that while everyone lacks confidence occasionally, people with low self-esteem are always unhappy or unsatisfied with themselves most of the time?....

Earlier this week, we started the series on the role Self-Esteem in self or personal development. Today, we will consider another type of Self-esteem.

Low Self-Esteem

^Low Self-esteem is an unhealthy Self-esteem. People with low self-esteem generally lack confidence about who they are and what they can do. This type of Self-esteem mostly affects one's personality development.

^People with low Self-esteem often feel incompetent, unloved and inadequate. They are consistently afraid about making mistakes or letting other people down.

^A major factor of Low Self-esteem however comes from your own mental state. Your inner voice or the thought in your head could be constantly telling you that you are not good enough or do not worth anything. 

^Negative thinking is generally linked to low Self-Esteem.

Below are some characteristics of persons with Low Self-esteem:

♦️Sensitivity to criticism: If you have a low self-esteem, you may be extra-sensitive to criticism, whether from others or yourself. You see it only as reinforcing your flaws and confirming that you are incapable of doing       anything right.

♦️Social withdrawal: Declining invitations to go to a party, or meet up with friends; canceling scheduled plans last minute; and generally not wanting to be be around others are signs of low self-esteem.

♦️Hostility: For someone with low self-esteem, lashing out or becoming aggressive towards others is a defense mechanism. If you feel that you are about to be exposed or criticized, attacking whosoever might criticize you can be a sign of low self-esteem.

♦️Fear of trying: People with low self-esteem may doubt their abilities or worth and therefore avoid challenges.

♦️Fear of judgement: Avoiding activities that involve other people because they are afraid of being negatively judged. People with low self-esteem feel self conscious and stressed around others and constantly look for 'signs' that people don't love them.

♦️Relationship problems: For instance, a person with low self-esteem may tolerate all sorts of unreasonable behaviors from partner because they believe they must earn their love and friendship. They believe they cannot be loved by others.

♦️People with low self-esteem have moments of euphoria when everything is going right for them but when things start to go bad, their Self-esteem drops very quickly.

Other characteristics of persons with low self-esteem can be seen as;

•judging themselves inferior to peers

•using negative words to describe themselves such as fat, ugly or unlovable.

•not believing a person who compliments them.

_"Everyone lacks confidence occasionally, but people with Low Self-esteem are unhappy or unsatisfied with themselves most of the time. It takes attention, daily practice and a conscious effort to boost this low self-esteem"_

TO BE CONTINUED...

The Impact Team

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ROLE of SELF-ESTEEM in PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT PART 1

ROLE of SELF-ESTEEM in PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT PART 1

We all know that "Self-esteem comes from what you as a person think of yourself, not what other people think of you".

But did you also know that Self-esteem is not dependent entirely on one thing or a set of thoughts. Instead, it is made up of your view of all the things that define you as a person including your personality, accomplishments, talents, capabilities, background, experiences, relationships, physical appearance, as well as how you perceive others to see you?...

Self-esteem plays a critical role in shaping the Personality process. The term "Self-esteem" is used to describe a person's overall sense of self worth or personal value. 

^Self-esteem is important for Personality development because it heavily influences people's choices and decisions. It serves a motivational function by making it more likely that people will take care of themselves and explore their full potential.

^Our self-esteem shapes our personalities and makes us the person we become. People with healthy self-esteem are also people who are motivated to take care of themselves and to persistently strive towards the fulfilment of personal goals and aspirations.

^Self concept  is related to Self-esteem, and people who have good self-esteem have a clearly differential self concept. When people know themselves, they can maximize outcomes, because they know what they can and cannot do.

^We must understand that our self-esteem is so important as well to our emotional health, and that the feeling of liking and respecting ourselves is the foundational principle of success and happiness. It is vital for us to feel fully alive.

^Self-esteem and Personality directly influence on each other.

There are majorly 3 types of self-esteem. 

♦Inflated self-esteem (Negative)

♦Low self-esteem  (Unhealthy)

♦High self-esteem (Positive or Healthy)

This article will be revealing more about Self-esteem to us as we continue in the series.

*Inflated Self-esteem:*

^Self-esteem is one of the most important chapters in Self- development (Personal development); however it is very difficult to find the healthy and positive balance of a strong Self-esteem in the reality of life. If we do not have a proper guidance, we can distort self-love through an inflated self-esteem which is based on "ego" and "superiority". If self-love is egoistic, it is called an Inflated self-esteem. 

^Inflated self-esteem provides false expression of both our abilities and our worths. It can contribute to present a wrong image of us to the world and people around us.

^People with inflated self-esteem tend to think of themselves as being better than other people and are always ready to underestimate others.

^Inflated self-esteem is actually a very negative type of self-esteem because it prevents people who possess it from forming meaningful and healthy relationships.

^People with inflated Self-esteem are characterized by their inability to listen to others and criticize themselves.

Below are some characteristics of persons with Inflated Self-esteem.

 

♦Urge to be right in all decisions. In reality, people who have inflated self-esteem suffer a great deal, because they have an urge to be right in all decisions.

♦People with inflated Self-esteem are not capable of correcting their own errors and as such, they are constantly blaming others.

♦They tend to undervalue others, adopting hostile behavior towards them.

♦They do not fore-see the risk of their actions. When there is an excess of Self-esteem i.e. Inflated Self-esteem, there is an inability to detect possible risks just because the person thinks nothing can affect him/her and that he/she has solutions to everything.

♦They like to be praised. People with inflated Self-esteem will always show their weaknesses to those who praise them. When they meet a person who enjoys their stories and bragging (at least for a while), they feel their ego is satisfied and let their guard down.

TO BE CONTINUED...

The Impact Team

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LIVING PURPOSEFULLY - PART 2

LIVING PURPOSEFULLY - PART 2

Earlier this week, we started looking into the topic "LIVING PURPOSEFULLY". We understood that there is more to living life, and that is Living Life with Purpose. We were made to understand that the things we do today, the decisions we make today largely influence our tomorrow. In this 2nd part of this series, we will delve further into this topic.

Ephesians 5:17 AMPC

[17]Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is.

We will remember that in our last month's article, we were told that our Purpose is found in God and only Him can reveal it unto us (Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose").

Therefore, a wise and prudent man who seeks to fulfill Purpose is one who first seeks to understand his purpose. For so many people, finding their Purpose has not been the issue afterall, the Bible says ask and it shall be given (Matthew 7:7); the major problem most people have is that they lack an understanding of what their Purpose is. Moses was a typical example of this. Moses knew without any shadow of doubt that he was called to be a deliverer to the children of Israel. But he didn't know the "how?". He had the zeal and the passion but He lacked the knowledge of how to go about it. This lack of understanding of "the how" made him to misuse his potential and he ended up killing a man (Exodus 2:11-22). A man living a life of purpose is one who takes time to ask God everyday for "the how" he is going to fulfill purpose that day and put his potentials to good use. 

Apostle Paul was a different case. After his encounter with God, he asked a cogent question in Acts chapter 9:6 "And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?...". It was this question that prompted God to give him instructions as to how to go about the business of his calling. Moses learnt this lesson the hard way after 40 years. When he encountered God again and He told him how he wanted to use Him to deliver the Israelites, he asked specific questions as to how he was to carry out the assignment.

Exodus 3:13 "And Moses said to God, Behold, when I come to the Israelites and say to them, The God of your fathers has sent me to you, and they say to me, What is His name? What shall I say to them?"

And God began to download the strategy of how he was to go about the business of the Israelites' deliverance and emancipation to him. 

What about you? Yes, you have a sense of your purpose but do you know how to go about it? Do you care to ask God every morning when you wake up "Lord what will you have me do?" 

Your assignment is divided into small parts and bits of which you must accomplish some everyday. A man who must live purposefully everyday is one who knows what to do and how to do it.

Knowing is the "WHAT"

Understanding is the "HOW"

Understanding your assignment breaks it down into daily tasks and activities. You know what to do part time, what steps to take per time while having the goal in view. Understanding your Purpose and knowing what it takes will help you realize the need for daily guidance. It helps you organize your day and wake up early to seek God's face for each day's plan.

Be led by the Holy Spirit. Jesus knew he came to save the world, but pending the time he would eventually die on the cross, there were things He needed to do daily. Marriages he needed to attend, blind eyes he needed to open, sermons he needed to preach at the synagogues, cities and villages he needed to visit, disciples he needed to appoint and a lot more. This activities summed up His destiny! No wonder he woke up a great while before dawn (Mark 1:35) just to seek God's face to know how to go about it. Once again knowing the "How" of your purpose is very important.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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LIVING PURPOSEFULLY - PART 1

LIVING PURPOSEFULLY - PART 1

We thank God for another opportunity to bring to you another teaching on PURPOSE this week. In last month's Purpose article titled, "MY PURPOSE MY POTENTIAL", we saw how Purpose gives birth to Potentials and how important it is for us to put our potential to work as this is the only way we can impact our world. We were reminded on how important our Purpose is as we know many destinies and lives are attached to it. I sincerely hope that you were able to put those instructions into practice so that we wouldn't just be hearers (Readers in this case) only, but we will be doers of the word.

This week we will be considering what exactly the life of purpose is and how we can live purposefully everyday of our lives.

Purpose as we have previously defined, is our reason for living. It is the "WHY" of our lives. It is the objective for which we have been sent into this world to accomplish. And if you have been following us for some time now, you will remember the five (5) questions every man must ask himself. They are:

✓Who am I your identity)

✓Where am I from (your source)

✓Why am I here (your purpose)

✓What can I do (your potential)

✓Where am I going (your destiny).

We have also been told overtime that our destiny is not a destination but rather a journey. It's not a place you get to but the path you take towards getting into that place. Contrary to what many folks today think, everyday of your life is as significant as the next. The sum total of the decisions you make everyday determines the quality of your life. The decisions you made yesterday have a part to play in your today; in the same vein, the decisions you make today will impact on your tomorrow. Make right decisions today, enjoy the fruits tomorrow. Make wrong decisions and you will be paying for this tomorrow.  

It is therefore expedient that we consider how we can live purposefully everyday thereby fullfiling God's agenda for our lives.

In a bid to fully understand this, we will be referring to Apostle Paul's teachings on Purpose because he was one of the men who ran with Purpose in the scriptures. For a man to say, "I have fought the good (worthy, honorable, and noble) fight, I have finished the race, I have kept (firmly held) the faith (2 Timothy 4:7); He sure has something to say about Purpose.

We will therefore be referring to some of his teachings on Purpose in the book of Ephesians chapter 5.

Ephesians 5:15 (AMPC)

[15]Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people)

TO BE CONTINUED...

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THE PRAYING CHRISTIAN PART 2

 THE PRAYING CHRISTIAN - PART 2

Hallelujah! It is the second article of the series. In the beginning of the series, we were made to understand that God will have men pray and also pray the right way. In the book of Matthew 6; Jesus was teaching the disciples on the need to pray and how to do so.

Today, we will be looking at Prayer and the need to have a prayer altar.

What is Prayer and why must we pray? 

We must have heard a couple of times that Prayer is a communication between God and man. But the complete definition for this is that Prayer is communication for anything and in any situation; for whatever  and in whatever situations whether it be pleasant or unpleasant". You do not have to feel good to pray. You don't have to expect something from God before you pray. The blessings that you desire do not have to be the reasons why you pray. Prayer is Always; in and out of seasons. In one of Smith Wigglesworth's quotes, He said, "I don't often spend more than half hour in prayer at one time, but I never go more than half an hour without praying".

Yes, there are a lot of definitions to prayer but what validates every definition is the communion that exists between man and God, and between God and man (Matthew 6:6 "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly"). 

Prayer is a "two-way" spiritual relationship. Jeremiah 33:3 "Call unto me and I will answer you, and shew you great and mighty things which thou knowest not".  Many times we only say the words without waiting for the response. Prayer is you talking to God and God talking back to you.

Prayer is us talking to God, letting him know our requests. Philippians 4:6 "but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God". 

It is very true that God knows everything about us - our wants, needs and desires but He will have us ask Him. In Mark 10:46-52, Jesus knew that the man Bartimaeus was blind but still in verse 51, he asked what He would do for him. Therefore, we must ask. God wants to give you your miracles but He wants you to first pray. Why, one may wonder? Take for an instance, a child who keeps asking his father for something before it is done and another who gets it done without even asking; the former would appreciate the giftings more than the one who gets it without asking. Matthew 7:7-8 "ask and ye shall be given, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened". Verse 8 "For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened". There is no doubt that there are certain things you need not ask for, you just walk into them by virtue of right, but at certain times, you must pray to receive certain answers.

God knows you have power in your tongue, so He wants you to command certain situations and not just do them for you. It is not necessarily your words that bring it to pass but the same way God is bound by the words of his mouth, he is also bound by our own words. 1 Peter 3:12 "For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil".

Prayer is us having access to God's will and also having knowledge of His purpose. Deuteronomy 29:29 "The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law". One way by which we access the will of God concerning our lives is through prayer. Through prayer, we catch revelations on His will and plan for our lives. Jeremiah 1:5 ""Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations".

You will not have to live a  meaningless life or take futile journeys on earth if you are a person of Prayer, and if before every move, you seek to know what God is saying. Through prayer, you have access to what God wants to do with your life and is doing in the season and seasons to come. There was a time in Babylon when the King dreamt and could not find an interpretation to the dream (Daniel 2), but Daniel together with his co-labourers went to seek the face of God concerning the matter and they were found of Him. Daniel 2:28 "But there is a God in heaven that revealeth secrets, and maketh known to the king what shall be in the latter days".

Through prayer, we enjoy sweet revelations. 

Prayer is gaining access to what his thoughts are for us. Isaiah 55:8 -9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts". Therefore, if the thoughts that will make us do not belong to us, then we must move closer to the one who has all in his hands. To know the way a person thinks, you have to literarily be in a close relationship with him or her. When we pray, we grow in our relationship with God and as a friend who we are close to, He lets us know per time what his thoughts are for the situations of our lives. Genesis 18:17 "And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do". In the new testament as well (Acts 1:24); when the disciples needed to know the mind of God for Judas' replacement, they had to go before God and He revealed this to them "And they prayed, and said, Thou Lord, which knowest the hearts of all men, shew whether of these two thou hast chosen". Verse 26 "And they gave forth their lots; and the lot fell upon Matthias; and he was numbered with the eleven apostles".

TO BE CONTINUED...

THE IMPACT TEAM

Building men and women of Excellence...

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THE PRAYING CHRISTIAN PART 1

THE PRAYING CHRISTIAN - PART 1

Happy New month people. I want to welcome everyone into a joyous month filled with glad and good tidings. Amen. It is a new week and another time to journey together on a flight that will forever change our lives. My prayer is that everyone receives from this series fresh insights and an insatiable desire to pray. Amen

The topic for this new series is "THE PRAYING CHRISTIAN". I want to admonish everyone that we stay connected throughout the series, so as to enjoy all that is available for us.

As a way of introduction, there are a number of scriptural references that tell us of the need for prayer. Let us take a look at few;

Matthew 6:9 "After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name".

Luke 1:10 "And the whole multitude of the people were praying without at the time of incense"

Luke 18:1 "AND he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray and not to faint".

1 Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing"

In the Old testament as well, we see instances that showed Prayer isn't just a New testament covenant. 

1 Samuel 1:10 "And she (Hannah) was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore".

Job 42:10 "And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before".

From the scriptures above, we understand that it is important that we pray. Even today, many understand that they must pray whether by virtue of them belonging to a praying ministry or a church, but only few understand why we pray. Only few understand the rudiments of Prayer. Moreso we understand if the purpose of a thing is not known, its abuse is inevitable. This is why so many pray and when it looks like there are no answers forthcoming, then they quit praying. But as someone who has  more deeper understanding, you know that when you pray, you must receive answers.

Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them". Verse 23 "For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith".

Nevertheless, we must understand that there is a way we pray a prayer that gets answered and if we must pray effectively, this must be well understood. We must understand that Prayer is not a once and for all engagement; it is something you have to be consistent with. 

Acts 2:42 "And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and *in prayers*".

Prayer is a force that has the capacity to change whatever situation but it does not operate according to the dictates of man. Prayer speaks to God more than it does to us, hence, the answers that stem from it have everything to do with God's own times and seasons, not our own times and seasons. Thus, when it appears as though, it is delayed, what do we do, we keep on praying. 

Luke 18:1 "we ought to pray and not faint". 1Thessalonians 5:17 "pray without ceasing". John 16:24 "Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full".

The latter part of John 16:24 should always be the end result of our prayers. There is no doubt that at certain times, when we pray, we receive answers immediately but at certain times, it might not be as immediate as we had it earlier. This does not mean God is not in the mood to answer us but we must learn that we cannot limit God to a certain way and manner of doing things. The same God that gave you an early answer is the same God that gave you an answer which (to you) appears to be delayed. However, we must know something, that there is no delay with our God. He gives you what is best for you, and at the time that is best. To you it may appear as though it is delayed, but He is telling you that now is not yet the time. The Bible makes us know that He has the times and the seasons with Him (Ecclesiastes 3:11); so He knows the right time for you.

To also buttress this; at times, God may be using what appears as a delay to us as a means of building us. Those times while we wait for the answers are not necessarily wasted times but He (God) is actually in the process of preparing a fertile ground for the seed He is to plant in us. You can understand this in this manner:

We all know that there are some seeds that require Loamy soils to grow and there are others that require Sandy soil. What happens if a farmer plants the seeds meant for a Loamy soil on a Sandy soil. As many may know, the characteristics of both soils differ; hence, the planted seeds may not do well. Therefore, it is not only important that the seeds be planted, but that they be planted on good grounds.(Read Matthew 13:3-23 The Parable of the Sower)

Verse 7-8 "And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:8 But others fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold".

Therefore, it is imperative that we understand this so we can learn to continue till we receive our desired miracles. Pastor E.A Adeboye in one of his teachings, said and I quote "if God had answered all my prayers the very first time I asked, I would not be as deeply involved with Him as I am today". And this is actually very true. Brethren, let us then understand that as much as we pray, we must learn to also persevere till our desired results come. 

TO BE CONTINUED

THE IMPACT TEAM

Building men and women of Excellence...

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